So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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