1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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