He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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