Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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