I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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