All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
