I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize