Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
