i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
