I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
