i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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