Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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