everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
