how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
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