I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Text me some of your sweat
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
