did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
