its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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