Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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