does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
