That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
