Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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