Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
