I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
