I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
