I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
