i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
