It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
