dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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