how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Someone shattered a urinal.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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