That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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