Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
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