idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
