When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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