I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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