How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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