while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
