Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
