We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
