we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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