i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
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