do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
