took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
