It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
