he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
