remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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