can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Randomize
