I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
