I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
