i think i have two assholes
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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