i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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