Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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