If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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