11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize