I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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