If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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