Is it normal to miss your booty call?
She is in my trunk
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
