he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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