If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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