it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
