fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
