I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
