I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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