You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
