Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
