did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
