im drinking this country out of the recession.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
