god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize