its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Bring me that man meat
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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