But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
