Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
