how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
