he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
