there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize