She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Why did my mother make you get naked?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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