I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
