I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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