Sponge bath it is.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
And then he peed in my hair
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