Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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