Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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