Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
