I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
