Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize